Thriving at Work and at Home with Generations around your Table: Three Things to Know

Every one of us was brought into the world surrounded by representatives of other generations – our parents, grandparents, cousins, nurses, doctors, and midwives. We live with them in our neighborhoods, chat with them in the grocery check out, work with them in our offices, celebrate holidays with them in our homes and worship with them in our faith communities. 

And yet…the relationships between generations can often be strained. We shake our heads and mutter under our breath, “I don’t get it!” Here are three things you need to know to improve your ability to have stronger and more effective relationships with other generations.

But first…let’s talk about the generations. In the course of 24 hours, one could interact with up to 6 generations. A generation is a social construct loosely defined in 20-year intervals. Each generation’s characteristics are the result of being impacted by a historical event, technological invention – or both. Though they have garnered multiple monikers, I am using the ones most commonly used.

I’ll start from the youngest and go to the oldest:

• Generation Alpha  Born 2013–2025 (0-12 yo) – This generation is too young to have been the subject of extended research, however, the one thing we do know about them is that they have always been familiar with an IPad, in particular, one that was dedicated to their age-appropriate use.  

• Generation Z  Born: 1997–2012 (27-13 Years old) This generation doesn’t remember a world before social media. It was raised in a post 9/11 and Columbine world and is aware that very little has been done to address school shootings. They are digital natives and never knew a world without Google and IPhones. 

• Millennials Born 1981–1996 (44 – 29 years old) This generation can tell you how old they were when they got their first phone. They were the first generation to use social media and learned the hard way about its public longevity and exposure. Through their parents – they experienced the highest divorce rate in history, as well as the economic crashes and layoffs of the 1980s. They were the first generation to demonstrably slow down their progress towards adult markers like driving, marrying, getting stable jobs and buying homes.

• Generation X: Born: 1965–1980 (60 – 45 years old) They have been referred to as the “Latchkey” generation, as they were the first to experience a large wave of dual income homes (meaning there was not a parent home to greet them after school). As a result, they learned at a young age to be independent by letting themselves into their homes after school, preparing their own snack and beginning homework or getting themselves to their next activity. They were not old enough to participate in the Civil Rights movement or Viet Nam, but many recall this being the backdrop to their early childhood. 

• Baby Boomers Born: 1946–1964 (79-61 years old) This generation was born post WWII into what was likely the most optimistic period in American history. They were dubbed by marketers, who observed that the spike in birth rates after the war led to a “booming” economy. Until 2020, this was the largest generation in American history. Stereotypically, they enjoy working, have been beneficiaries of multiple robust economies and are equally enjoying their retirement. They experienced the disillusion of serving or having friends serve in Viet Nam and lived through the tumult of the Civil Right Movement, two events that ultimately eroded trust in the government. 

• Silent Generation Born: 1928–1945  (80 – 97 years old) This generation was too young to serve in WWII, but most have memories of it and its impact on families. They have experienced the span of technology from hallway phones that required operators to 16 generations of IPhones, from chalkboards to smartboards, from encyclopedias on the shelf to ChatGPT. They turn out to vote at higher rates and are more civically engaged than other generations. Though most of them are retired, they value hard work and loyalty. 

As each generation was shaped by different histories with access to different technologies, there are three things to know about each other that will improve our relationships. 

1. Every generation approaches a situation wanting something different. Though you are all on the same project, in the same community, around the same table, it can’t be assumed that you are there for the same reasons. Take time to ask and to listen to why that person is there and what they hope to receive from this experience. Understanding goals and motivations will increase your ability to connect and move forward together. 

2. Every generation approaches a situation thinking they have something different to contribute. When we enter a business, living room, a political party, a place of worship – we may have already decided how the others in that space can be involved and what they may have to offer. A good foundation for building and improving relationships is to hear what each individual would like  – and thinks they are able – to contribute. 

3. Every generation wants to be valued. No matter how great or small, expected or unexpected, needed or auxiliary, the contribution or involvement may be – find a way to express their value to the larger group. 

The good news is that every generation wants to feel like they belong, that there is a place for them – if they show up. With that in mind, every one of us can create space for that to happen for the people who surround us in our daily lives. 

For more resources or consulting on Generational Theories and working with and relating to multiple generations, reach out to me at Lynn.barger.e@gmail.com.